9.26.26
Reflective, if you will.
September is nearly over and the Harvest Moon has brought the owls back near my home so I can hear them hooting, hollering even, in the early morning and late at night. The weather has fallen, even if briefly, enough to shift all my cozy hoodies to the front of my closet again. All is quiet. Life is aligned in a way that, for all intents and purposes, is successful. Everything is right.
And yet, it’s not been very peaceful.
There’s been this undertone of a storm as if I’m in the most secure boat but the sea is doing everything to cause me to capsize. I’m fine, sure, but boy does it not feel that way sometimes. The ship teeters, the rain pours, and I remain amazed that I’m still standing.
But I suppose that’s what happens when your life changes in ways that feel like pulling a bow apart.You could say I’ve been in a very Shinchiro Watanabe time in my life, where much like Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop, good endings aren’t always the happiest ones. Maybe even with a touch of Bojack Horseman existentialism.
It’s okay though. Remember, it’s still a good end. There are just some life lessons that come with a twisted knife. It hurts, even if it misses your vitals. Too many metaphors? Probably. So to put it into a little more clarity, in the wake of these tumultuous seas, I’ve found the key to happiness. Or rather, I’ve learned what it looks like and that makes it a little easier to find.
Humanity is… insatiable. In this capitalist society, we strive for more, more, more. More followers, more money, accolades, titles, things. But the hard truth is that everything can become frivolous in the blink of an eye. Of course that doesn’t mean your quality of life can’t be drastically improved by new things, don’t get me wrong, but when you’re only looking to the materialistic, those things will quickly expire.
So what’s the secret?
In these trying times, I've learned that happiness comes from the present. It’s the gratitude of existing in the moment, especially in the relationships you cultivate and maintain. It’s making wings with your roommate for a football game you don’t personally care about, it’s the snail mail you and your friends send, it’s TedTalks about how cool Batman is, and it’s the I love you's between laughter with a loved one. Happiness comes from the fulfillment of having people in your life, romantic and platonic.
It sounds cheesy, trust me, I know. But the reality of it does seem to hit you when you’re met with its end. Whether that’s through tragedy or the simple acknowledgement that it’s better to part ways, you forget that you are just a culmination of all the people you’ve ever loved. You are a well of inside jokes, recipes passed down, scars, stories, and experiences.
And there’s no real lesson to learn here as much as it is a reminder for myself. You may think nihilism can protect you, but tragic optimism will really be what makes you feel fulfilled. Follow your dreams the only way you know how and remember to cherish the experiences you have with others.
Repeats of the last, but still relevant to today. I'm trying to find my creative footing again.
See you in the stars 🌟